Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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