is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
