Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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