my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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