That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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