Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
