I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
