; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
