nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
