It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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