So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
