Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there was a trapeze. enough said
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
