JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
