Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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