I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
