it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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