Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
