We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
