Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i already hear my dad disowning me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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