ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
