its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
