I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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