Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
