your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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