if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize