ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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