i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
