Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
