He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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