That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize