david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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