During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
