just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize