Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
