Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize