Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize