1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
