You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
