Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
