her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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