She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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