I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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