If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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