plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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