Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
