I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
