She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
