And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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