Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
