Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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