A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
