"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
