it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
