spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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