What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
