i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
