Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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