My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
