we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
