So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
