Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
