My nipple is on Facebook.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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