just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
