Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We need to rekindle our bromance
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
