Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
