legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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