That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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