i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
