Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
