i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize