tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
