Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
