It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
