She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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