we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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