You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize