remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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