Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
