You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
